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Blog production declines – a red flag for me.

Someone recently asked me, “Is something up? Are you OK?” Apparently, they noticed that my blog production is down. I don’t know if many people noticed my drop in productivity over time, but I did, and I wrote this blog to get it off my chest, explain what’s going on, and make it clear that it may continue for a time.

My blog production thus far this year has been down by about 25% compared to last year, and was down by 20% in the last six months of 2024.

That’s a big red flag for me. Blog production has always been my highest priority. I will throw virtually everything else under the bus – emails, keeping up with finances, cleaning, organizing, taxes, etc. – to keep up with the blogs.

Resilience Tested

How many things have regressed on the energy end became blatantly clear during Health Rising’s end-of-year donation drive. Health Rising’s very long donation drives provide a nice year-end assessment of my resilience. They are intense, not just because Health Rising gets a majority of its funding from them, but because they’re such an exceptionally demanding time. Writing blogs, recording 500 or so donations, and sending out thank-you notes is a real workout.

Exhaustion set in much earlier during the donation drive this year

Exhaustion set in much earlier during the donation drive this year.

Four years ago, I got through them fine. Three years ago, I was able (barely) to keep up and I vowed not to go through that again. Two years ago, I made it about halfway through the drive before I gave up on recording the donations, etc., and spent the week after it collating the donations and thanking everyone. A year ago, I bowed out earlier and spent about two weeks afterwards gathering up the donations and thanking everyone.

This year, I pooped out after about 10 days, and three months later, I still haven’t thanked everyone – which also means that I haven’t thanked almost anyone who donated after the drive ended on Jan 17th as well.

Even after cutting back so much on that, I’ve still done about 25% fewer blogs than usual. It’s time to face the music—I’m not the person I was a year ago.

A Slow Slide – and then a Faster One

My resilience has plummeted over the past nine months, but according to my Oura scores, I’ve been on a slow slide for about three years.

Early 2022—Heart Rate Variability Drop—In early 2022, I experienced a mysterious and dramatic drop in my heart rate variability scores. Over two months, my HRV scores dropped by 40% (@22-13), stayed there for two years, and then started to inch up. Interestingly, I don’t remember my symptoms getting worse. My Oura readiness scores also dipped for four months, rebounded, and then were back to normal.

I can think of three things that happened during that period: a shingles vaccine shot; a heavy concentration on fermented foods, that was accompanied by about a 10 lb weight loss.

Feb 2023 – Activity Goal Drop—About a year later, in Feb 2023, the activity goal Oura set for me each day started dropping. While I’d had my share of 250 and 350 active calorie burn days, as often as not, Oura gave me a nice, robust 500 active-calorie-burn activity goal, and every now and then I’d even bounce up to 600 or 650.

By Feb, 2023, though, Oura thought I was better off trying for 400. By August of next year, the 500s were essentially gone for good. By March of this year, I was, more often than not, not even making it to 400.

Sept 2025—Cardiovascular Age Drops—In May 2024, Oura started tracking something called “cardiovascular age,” which refers to pulse wave velocity (PWV) and arterial stiffness. I was happy to find that Oura thought my PWV indicated I was 2.5 years younger than I was, but then the drops came. A year and a half later, my cardiovascular age matched my real age, and by February, Oura thought I was 1.5 years older that I am.

2023 to PresentSleep Scores Drop—If anything tells the tale of the last three years, it’s probably been my sleep. Three years ago, I averaged 6 hours and 15 minutes of sleep. It dropped 30 minutes in 2023 and 2024, and was down to 5 and 1/4 hours in 2025.

My sleep score—which had averaged a mediocre but bearable 70 in 2024—dropped until it bottomed out at a pretty miserable 61 in the first three months of 2025. I’m convinced that poor sleep has taken the greatest toll.

Doxepin, ramelteon, trazodone, gabapentin, eszopiclone, and Kava have been tried and failed. The only things that seem to help are CBD oil and high-THC gummies.

Flexion Points?

Cort 2019 picture

For most of my time with ME/CFS I’ve pretty much been the picture of resilience.

Of course, I’ve been looking back and trying to figure out what happened. I can see four factors that may have played a role. Most of them have overexertion in common, which is a bit surprising to me.

Overexertion has never been much of a problem for me with my “mild” ME/CFS. I’ve planted large gardens, worked at catering for several years in the 90s, and traveled cross-country several times. Sure, I often paid the price each time, but back to baseline I always went. I was a pretty darn resilient person with ME/CFS.

If I look back, though, there were four times when it appears I kept paying the price for quite a while.

Mid 1990s – The Survey—It was admittedly a stretch for me to do my Master’s thesis surveying native grasslands in the Santa Cruz Mountains in the mid-1990s. I was determined to do it, though, and pushed and pushed. At one point, I even felt like I had pushed through something and was able to hike more easily. In the end, I returned to my normal baseline, but towards the end of the project, I developed a roaring case of chemical sensitivities that continues today, albeit in reduced form. Was it caused by too much exertion? I don’t know.

The Plague—If any one thing started my recent decline, I would pick “the plague” (lol). My idea of dealing with the occasional cold was to get a little activity in. This time, that idea failed miserably, and I woke up the next day with a deep, aching feeling in my muscles that I had never experienced before.

It took months to get over that, but it popped again and again when I overexerted. It’s much rarer now, but it’s a no-nonsense sign that I must pull back when it comes.

Warning sign of slippage—Prior to the plague, I’d done a couple of cross-country trips. I knew they would be a challenge, but I didn’t fear for my health and looked at them more as an adventure and a chance to see the country than anything else. After “the plague”, though, that changed. I was very careful on the one long-distance trip I made in 2023 and decided not to do one in 2024.

The Big Slide: I Get Puppies, and My Activity Levels Skyrocket—In retrospect, things had been on a slow slide for several years, but I felt pretty much the same. I would have been hard-pressed to say that anything other than normal fluctuations were occurring.

Then came the puppies. Over about a year, I lost both River and Skye – and in May of last year, I got two puppies – Anni (Icelandic for River) and Cielo (Italian for Skye) :).

You might ask what I was thinking about getting two puppies at 64? (My partner asks me that frequently :)). Well, I wanted that bond that comes from growing up with puppies. Besides, it had worked well before (13 years before (lol)).

It wasn’t just puppies—it was these puppies. They were Catahoula hounds, a breed bred to hunt. While my last dogs (whom I thought were Catahoulas but clearly weren’t) stuck around camp, these guys roamed and roamed. Because I don’t like keeping them tied up when I’m camping, I spend a good bit of energy chasing them. When I wasn’t chasing them, I went on short hikes with them.

steps per day

11,000 steps…What was I thinking?

Between the hikes and the chasing, my steps per day reached new heights. During one month in summer, I was shocked to see that I’d somehow averaged over 11,000 steps a day—a step count I’d never come close to approaching before. Over a four-month period last summer, I averaged about 10,000 steps a day—something else I’d never come close to doing since I got the Oura ring about five years ago.

Why didn’t I catch this and pull back? For one, I wasn’t having my usual post-exertional malaise symptoms (hot burning sensations in my muscles, lots of upper body pain, fatigue, irritability, difficulty concentrating, and every now and then a little dizziness. If I really overdid it, I’d get flue-like symptoms and immediately pull back.)

Instead, I was experiencing symptoms I’d never experienced in my 40+ years of ME/CFS, such as wooziness, dizziness, fatigue, disorientation, “floppy feet”, numbness and tingling in my ankles, plus lots of left side (neck, shoulder, and hip) pain. I attached none of it to my exertion.

I only began to realize what was going on when the activity score on my Oura tumbled despite all my activity, and my “Recovery Time” assessment slipped from “Optimal” to “Good” to “Fair” and then to the lowest level, “Pay Attention”. Alarmed at this new onset of symptoms, I became a patient of Dr. Ruhoy’s in Seattle.

Warning Sign – How much resilience I’d lost was vividly displayed when a tire shredded on the way to Flagstaff in the fall. Usually, changing a tire would be no problem, but this time, it was not. I staggered around, and I was quickly spent, and was lucky that a good Samaritan came by and helped out. The fact that I could not generate energy in a pinch really blew my mind. Even at my worst in the past, I’d been able to do that.

Stuck

Reducing my activity level helped, and the puppy problem has gotten better (dog trackers and more leash time have helped). While I am still doing too much activity, for various reasons, at times, I’ll be able to reduce it more coming up.

Unless I overdo it, my wooziness and disorientation are much, much less, and my left side pain is mostly gone. My sleep scores are still in the pits. My fatigue is still high, my resilience is reduced, and it takes me much longer to recover (elevated heart rate/symptoms) from stressful activities, and my activity goal continues to sink. Oura certainly doesn’t think I’m over this, and neither do I.

Warning Sign – Last month, the van got stuck in the desert, and I had to do some work to recover it. I got it out – and I was in better shape than during the Flagstaff fiasco – but again, my energy dissipated alarmingly fast. This is probably not surprising for many people with ME/CFS/FM, but for me, it was. In the past, I would have been in considerable pain, but would have been able to push through. This time, there was simply nothing left.  

It’s a different world. Over the past 9 months, my symptoms have changed radically. The old me had to deal with much more pain – the new me just can’t function as well. I prefer the old me! 

Worse Health – Less Worry (?)

Oddly, enough, in some ways I am less worried about my health than I have been in the past. I came across a letter I wrote to my sister in 2017 in which I spilled my guts and said I was worried about my ability to continue working. That was a revelation as 2017 seems kind of like a golden age right now (lol). The truth is that I was really concerned about my ability to keep going on, and I’ve always been worried that something was going to happen.

I’m actually less worried about that now because I have more confidence in my ability to take care of myself. One of the odd but revealing memories I have from 10 years or so ago is being too tired to brush my teeth at night. Given what a financial thorn in my side my teeth have been, I have to be really, really tired to get to the point where I don’t brush. At one time I got there frequently.

That doesn’t happen anymore. I’m never too tired to brush my teeth at night and always do so. It’s a little thing, but it’s revealing to me. It’s probably because I’m taking better care of myself.

So, while I’m dismayed that my productivity is down at precisely the time there is so much to write about, I’m not worried about collapsing.

New Health Efforts

Some things have turned around. My heart rate variability ticked up in 2024 and now averages 17, and my ‘cardiovascular age” has improved and now suggests I’m a year younger than my age.

I started and have been intermittently doing Dan Neuffer’s ANS REWIRE program. One of the things I agreed to was to take more breaks. While I’ve been doing the program fitfully, it is helping at times, and I believe it will help more over time. (I’m also hoping that at some point, my long-term meditation practice (@ 1 hour a day for the last 3 years) is going to finally kick in at some point and I’m going to have a nice stretch of restful meditations (lol)).

As I noted, I also started seeing Dr. Ruhoy. With her new fee increases, my time with her will be brief, but she will be able to advise me on the results of the 26 vials of blood and the MRI and MRV imaging results that were done (thank god for Medicare) – and I will pass them on to my other doctor. The vast majority of my blood tests fell in the normal range, but there were a couple of standouts, including a lactic acid level that was so low that it almost defied belief (lab error?).

So, to wrap up, my blog production will probably continue at a slower pace than usual.

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