Basic Stuff
- Name: Ishtar
- Country: Scotland, United Kingdom
- County: Edinburgh
- City: Edinburgh
- Gender: Female
- Age: 71
- Education: Ph.D Degree
- Primary Illness: ME/CFS
- Diagnosis:
- Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME/CFS)
- Irritable bowel syndrome
- Year Illness Began: 2011
Functioning Interrupted
Work Interrupted
- Former Occupation: Psychologist & Dance artist
- Job Responsibilities at Former Occupation:
I worked full time as a psychologist for the chronic pain service in the NHS. I ran mindfulness groups and saw individual patients. I also had a part time private practice in psychotherapy. I also had a dance project on the go.
- Current Occupation: Psychologist in private practice, dance artist
- Current Job Responsibilities:
I had to leave my NHS job due to ME/CFS. I am able to work as a psychotherapist by spacing out my clients. I have done a dance film by doing short bits of movement followed by rest.
- Years of Work Lost: 0
- Current Work Status: Still working
Income Interrupted
-
Minimum Current Annual Income Loss:
£8,833
Other Interruptions
- I reduced my work hours
- I left my job or retired early
Most Impactful Loss
Unable to dance or be physically active. Unable to socialise unless I am not working.
My Story
Prior to becoming ill, I had a rich and full life. I was part of a pain management team, I ran mindfulness groups and trainings, I was funded for a dance project and regularly did tai chi, yoga, pilates and walking. I became ill suddenly one day at work and did not get better. I was bed-ridden for about a 6 months, house-bound for another 6 months and had to leave my NHS job and cancel my dance project. All this was devastating to me. I felt like I was dying. Any attempt to do anything like pilates, even for ten minutes, would leave me bed-bound again. I was fortunate that I have a loving husband who looked after me and took over much of the household chores, shopping, cooking etc.
I gradually improved over the course of around 6 years. I used yoga nidra meditation and frequent rests and made sure to rest when I felt symptoms coming on. I got back to around 90% of where I was until 2021 when I relapsed. I was not as bad as the first time and generally have been able to work part time but am still now getting post-exertional malaise if I do too much physically. I can walk for about ten minutes. I had been funded again for a dance project that I had been working on for some years. I was too ill to perform the piece but was able to make it into a film. I would do small bits of movement and lie down repeatedly throughout the day. I did NOTHING else during the two weeks of filming. I got a lot of support from others to be able to do this. I remain hopeful that I will continue to improve again and get back to where I was prior to relapse. I have attached a link to the trailer for my piece that I managed to do in spite of my illness! It had it's first screening in September 2023. Since then I have improved to some degree. I am able to socialise a bit more a do about 30 minutes of movement practice twice a week.
Thank you Ishtar! Such a compelling performance! I so felt especially transported by the water scenes- was sublime to me.
I do hope you feel better and even better as you go, and am impressed that you did this piece little by little until it was finished. That’s my motto, “little by little”.
Seems like the memory of running on 100% is (was?)a good thing. I’ve long lost what health is like. I’m doing meditation and binaural beats, self hypnosis to try to remember what feeling better is like. Even though I’m exploring alternative health and nutrition, imagining health seems important to me, having that memory..or accepting it as a potentially new experience that I lost knowing about over the years. Somehow I will figure how to imagine the feeling of wellness. Probably pretend it in my visuals. I vaguely remember when I could dance though. I do watch dance films sometimes, not with envy, but with wonder and searching for that memory via empathy.
So, thanks again for sharing your art! Loved the piece!
Thank you Elaine! Great to receive this!
Along with a friend who has fibromyalgia I am going to be holding an online improvisation class for those with PEM next year. If you might be interested please let me know. it’s something you could do from bed if needed.
Sounds very interesting. Sure, and thanks for the invite. What about how to connect on that? Through this message when you have organized it, or possibly I can ask Cort to send you my email? Privacy is a given.
I’m familiar with improvisation, but not the mechanics of it, so I’m curious. Would probably be stepping outside of my comfort zone- in a good way!
In the 90’s I studied visual arts, and while aiming for a degree I found exploring other genres enriched my primary artistic interests.
Thanks again Laura, and have a wonderful day!
Hi Elaine, Amazing that you are interested. I am in the UK so time zone will be different. Also to say it is free of charge. Perhaps we can connect via Facebook messenger?
I don’t have Facebook and don’t plan to. Since there is no provision or option to dm privately on this site and posting username for messenger on public forum’s comment section is not advisable, I’m sorry, but I think I will have to decline. Thanks
That’s a shame…anyway thanks for your interest. I will be promoting it publically early next year so you may see it somewhere. Meantime, take good care!
Laura
Thanks for your understanding..ok, that sounds good..take care