Poll The Family-Get-Together Poll: Are They Worth It?

[Recliner]

I only have my mom and two brothers, one brother lives in another state.
I am caregiver to my 90 year old mother and my brother here with stage 4 kidney disease!!!
Neither one of them have even ever read anything about ME / CFS!
Both of them suggest that I get more exercise... x-(
I can't even take care of myself, I don't know how I manage to take care of them as well...
I'm so exhausted! My brain is going to explode if I have to figure out one more thing for my brother having to do with Medicare or Medicaid! Its all so overwhelming!
I feel so all alone....

 

[Cort]

I only have my mom and two brothers, one brother lives in another state.
I am caregiver to my 90 year old mother and my brother here with stage 4 kidney disease!!!
Neither one of them have even ever read anything about ME / CFS!
Both of them suggest that I get more exercise... x-(
I can't even take care of myself, I don't know how I manage to take care of them as well...
I'm so exhausted! My brain is going to explode if I have to figure out one more thing for my brother having to do with Medicare or Medicaid! Its all so overwhelming!
I feel so all alone....

OMG Recliner - what a situation! YOU are the caregiver!
What is wrong with that picture
You are building up many, many brownie points - I hope they are all collecting somewhere. I imagine that they are.

Good luck!

 

[Tami]

I like your name, Recliner...my favorite place!
Are you in the US? I was thinking you might be able to have someone from family services help with the paperwork. Also, respite care might be available for both your Mom and brother, so you could have a break once and awhile. Just thinking about the paperwork and conversations needed to get that going is probably too overwhelming right now; just a couple of things that came to mind.
If there's anyone that could help, ask them. People feel good helping others--well, many people do I think.
Concerning paperwork, I have to give myself a break until my mind stops smoldering.
Would it change anything if your brother and Mom knew how ill you were? If you ever just need someone to listen (I say this after giving all this advice ), my email is: t.condra@bresnan.net I'll be praying for you and your family.

 

[Patty May]

I only have my mom and two brothers, one brother lives in another state.
I am caregiver to my 90 year old mother and my brother here with stage 4 kidney disease!!!
Neither one of them have even ever read anything about ME / CFS!
Both of them suggest that I get more exercise... x-(
I can't even take care of myself, I don't know how I manage to take care of them as well...
I'm so exhausted! My brain is going to explode if I have to figure out one more thing for my brother having to do with Medicare or Medicaid! Its all so overwhelming!
I feel so all alone....

I am so sorry that you are sick, and you are the primary care giver for your Mom & Brother!!! It's way too much, like Cort said the brownie points are building up & overflowing . Do you have Hospice care where you live? Any Churches? Maybe you could call Social services? We have an Aging and Adult Care place that helps coordinate social services. Please don't feel alone, there's always people that care and would help, you just haven't met them yet!!! Feel free to friend me, I don't spend a lot of time on here but would be a friend who understands your illness and also took care of my mother. I am so grateful for the time we had together before she died, but at the time it was overwhelming (and I had my husband to help!

 

[Seeksassy]

I only have my mom and two brothers, one brother lives in another state.
I am caregiver to my 90 year old mother and my brother here with stage 4 kidney disease!!!
Neither one of them have even ever read anything about ME / CFS!
Both of them suggest that I get more exercise... x-(
I can't even take care of myself, I don't know how I manage to take care of them as well...
I'm so exhausted! My brain is going to explode if I have to figure out one more thing for my brother having to do with Medicare or Medicaid! Its all so overwhelming!
I feel so all alone....

Wow! What a spot you are in...I don't know how you do it. Have you tried to access any social services? I wish I could do something to help, but a sympathetic ear is about all I have. I'm not here every day but will check back to look for you. There may be a way to connect more privately through this site, but not sure. I'll check it out. Hang in there, and I hope will find some help.

 

[Abrin]

'Lucky' for me, my family (extended or otherwise) is not close either mentally or in physical proximity to me so I never really need to worry about whether it is worth it since there is no family get togethers for me to attend.

 

[Recliner]

I am so sorry that you are sick, and you are the primary care giver for your Mom & Brother!!! It's way too much, like Cort said the brownie points are building up & overflowing . Do you have Hospice care where you live? Any Churches? Maybe you could call Social services? We have an Aging and Adult Care place that helps coordinate social services. Please don't feel alone, there's always people that care and would help, you just haven't met them yet!!! Feel free to friend me, I don't spend a lot of time on here but would be a friend who understands your illness and also took care of my mother. I am so grateful for the time we had together before she died, but at the time it was overwhelming (and I had my husband to help!

 

[Recliner]

[/QUOTE
hi Tammy, Party May,
I don't think I've caught on to how this reply button works!
Thank you so much for the kind words!
Yes, there are services to help me with my brother but all of them are out of money! I called the 211 number and I get a list of 10 different agencies... I go down the list one by one and each of them tells me that there is no money in their program.
ALL of them tell me to contact the DHS (Department of Human Services)
Michigan is just now starting to convert all of their paper files into computer files..... JUST NOW!
Needless to say, getting things done is almost impossible.
Food assistance for people in Michigan is $16 a month or $4 per week if you make it stretch!
Medicaid is enough paperwork to take down an entire rainforest all by itself... it makes my head pound just to think about all the forms I filled out. Actually, I have to get one in the mail today!
Between trying to get help for my brother over this last year and trying to keep my head above water with all of my medical paperwork... I do believe my brain fog is about to cause a tropical storm in my brain!!!
Mom may be 90 years old but she is the least of my worries!
My brother was disrespectful and a procrastinator before the emergency happened last year.... Now, that I got him through the worst of it... I guess, I don't know why I expected him to act any differently...
Just to know that there's someone... You... Out there, really helps!

 

[Recliner]

Thank You Arbin& SeekSassy
thank you for taking time out of your day to write those kind words for me.

 

[Seeksassy]

'Lucky' for me, my family (extended or otherwise) is not close either mentally or in physical proximity to me so I never really need to worry about whether it is worth it since there is no family get togethers for me to attend.

I can relate to that; kind of a mixed blessing...

 

[Merida]

View attachment 220 There's going to be a big party for my aunt's 100th birthday in October.

Even if I could survive the 2 hour ride, after sitting up and talking for an hour, I would completely "check out" and turn into a zombie.

I cant cant even imagine what the next few days/weeks would be like.

Not even a consideration.

This is my aunt at her 99th. Wasn't there either

Funny how longevity seems to run in our families. Despite the misery.

 

[Cort]

We just had our holidays. Maybe next year we'll have them in September (lol). This was the best in years for me - primarily because I'm feeling better. It was only towards the end that I started to wig out. A little extra energy really goes a long way...so grateful for that.

 

[Tami]

Thankful for this great site and the supportive people here!

 

[madie]

I'm about to happily miss my mom's 95th birthday party in Ohio. It's true that I can't rent a car and navigate in a strange city, and that I can't eat the $45 a plate food at the fancy dinner that will run too late for me. So I have good excuses. But really, even if I felt absolutely fine, I don't want to go. These people just aren't fun.

On the other hand, Christmas with my kids is always amazing. Yes it's tiring, but they're very aware of my boundaries, and I've got a spot I can retreat to where we can all still see each other. Also the latest addition to the family is a chef, and if I buy the food, he'll cook it. Literally the best meals I've ever eaten.